Day 18 – The pretty, the party and the pantyhose

Posted: November 18, 2013 in Uncategorized
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So I gave up knitting the sweater, as you know, for the party I had to go to today. I didn’t give up knitting something, anything to wear with the pretty dress I had bought, though. I remembered I had some yarn that was exactly the same colour (a dark teal) as my dress and so proceeded to go through all my books and magazines to see if I could find a pattern for a shrug or something to wrap around my shoulders and cover my ugly upper arms. And I found exactly what I was looking for in an old Vogue magazine.

The pattern is simple, a seed-stitch rib in a bulkyish yarn, bulkyish because it’s really just knitting worsted held double. It’s a really simple little cardigan just barely covering the bust and with long sleeves that I planned to make 3/4 for both time and yarns sake. I wasn’t sure I would have enough to do full length sleeves but figured if I knit both at the same time I could gage when to cast off. And because the yarn is on the bulkier side it I thought I could get through it pretty quickly.

I started the back at 11PM. Finished and blocked by 2:30AM. Cast on for the right front and by 3, which is my bedtime, I had a good bit done. Now, are any of you seeing a problem here? I still had to knit the rest of the right front, the whole left front, two sleeves and a collar. Yeah, even though I can knit pretty fast when pushed (I knit my father-in-law a scarf in an afternoon when I needed a quick Christmas present. Admittedly it wasn’t a full length scarf and it was a simple basket weave but I was still impressed with myself), I was never going to get that shrug done by 6:30, and have a shower (I hear hygiene is something people value), and do my hair (pin-curls take a while but they did end up looking great!), and do my make-up (a simple, yet dramatic look by sweeping my lids with a shimmering almost white eye colour and lining the upper lid with a dark teal, sweeping the edges up and out like this but without the liner under the eye. Well, I did put colour under the eye just not like that. I lined my lower lashes in a lighter teal shimmer). So now I have half a shrug done which is ok since I was going to make it anyway.

Now one thing I am known for is that I am ridiculously on-time. Usually I’m early. I hate being late for anything and I can feel physically ill if I think I’m going to be late. So at 5 I started getting ready, but I have to say in my defence that I actually thought the do was supposed to start at 6. Make-up and hair were done pretty quickly and so I opened a new package of pantyhose while humming a little tune. Now I never, ever wear dresses. The last time I bought pantyhose was something like 30 yrs. ago. They came in taupe, ecru and black or if you wanted tights you could get some funky colours but dress hose came in three colours. There were some control top things but I think they didn’t really offer much in the way of support, I mean, not like they do now. So yesterday when I was out I bought a pair of control top pantyhose in black. Took them out of the package today and tried to get them on past my knees. Looked at the package. Yep, according to the package I had bought the right size but there was no way on God’s green earth those things were ever going to fit me.

Apparently, I was wrong yesterday when I said that clothing manufacturers and designers were evil. They are merely demonic, pantyhose manufacturers are truly evil. I can see them in their offices looking at samples of their hose and at a dart board with various heights and weights on it. There is no other explanation for a pair of hose whose package said they would fit someone 4’11” and up to 135lbs being of a size that would fit, tightly, a six-year-old. I swear, well, I swore. I said the seven words you can never say on television. Then I pulled and yanked and swore and sweated and managed to get them just past my knees before I had to give in and admit defeat. Good job when you think of it because anything too tight to get over my knees was going to be torture to wear all night if I did manage to get them on. So at 5:45PM I’m standing in Target in full regalia with glow-in-the-dark white legs in full view trying to decipher the height and weight recommendations on twenty packages of hose. Not my finest hour. Or even fifteen minutes.

Finally, I just grabbed two packages of dress hose in two different sizes, and two packages of opaque hose in two sizes and ran to the checkout. And of course, and I’m sure this has happened to you, you get the line where everyone has one item but they all have to search through their purse or wallet for the dime necessary for the exact change to give the cashier. Gah! Get through the line after repeating, to myself, the seven words you can never say on television, run to the bathroom to try on said hose thinking I could just return the stuff that doesn’t fit before I left. The first one I tried on fit. I almost cried. Then I looked at my legs and saw a couple of rather unsightly snags on my one leg. No time to change. Prayed to the pantyhose Gods that they didn’t run and ran to the car.

It was very gratifying to get to the party after all the trials and tribulations and have everyone remark on how nice I looked. It almost made me wonder what I look like normally. I did enjoy myself although there were a lot of awkward and foot in mouth moments. But social occasions are not my forte and I’m always lost after I run out of small talk. I like the people I work with but they aren’t my friends. I don’t associate with them outside of work but I think I’m going to change that. I found that I really did enjoy myself, being out with different people, having people say how much they like working with me and how pretty or nice I am. Yes, I admit it, I like having my ego massaged, attention whore Leo that I am, which is in sharp contrast to how I’ve been acting and feeling the last few years. I had been content to hole up in my house and ignore the outside world but that means I ended up living in such a small world when there is a huge big world I know little about out there. So instead of living small I’m going to try to live a bit bigger every day and who knows where it will lead. I may even snag a job out of it.


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